America's Epidemic

People know what I stand for. I want to stop our kids from dying. –Kym Laube

 

I loved sitting down talking to my friend Kym Laube, who is the Executive Director of HUGS, Human Understanding and Growth Services. She is also president of the Association of Teen Institutes AND she is on Mario Cuomo’s Heroin Task Force. Just a few things going on in her life! Not to mention a husband, 3 kids and 4 dogs. (When do you sleep Kym?)

Check out the podcast and hear her inspiring story of how she got involved in helping kids navigate this life and the dangers of drinking and drugs and what can we do about the epidemic of alcohol and drug abuse in America.

I can’t post this without the caveat that I don’t mean to be a hypocrite because I did allow my kids to drink in our home after they were a certain age. But I grew up that way myselfso to me, that was just part of the culture and what we did. I was being responsible.

Stay safe, have your friends over, give me your keys. I thought I was doing all the right things.

And does it all lead to substance abuse disorders? No, but if I understood that thehuman brain is not fully developed until 25 and those teen years are crucial in the way your brain is hardwired for the rest of your life maybe we would have made different choices. But you don’t know what you don’t know.

The greatest message of this podcast is, start the conversation. It’s sometimes uncomfortable and not fun but to be open and honest with your kids about what they are facing. Remember back to when you were in their position. Did you ever lie to your parents? Not because you were a bad kid, chances are you just didn't want them to see everything you were up to because they wouldn't approve. It was your time to start to be autonomous and you wanted to do some things on your own. Let's change that paradigm and start to treat kids/young adults that sense of I respect you as a human being and I don't expect you to be perfect and I'm going to love you no matter what. Let's talk.

 

Get in touch with Kym and the HUGS crew at

Hugsinc.org

kym@hugsinc.org

631-288-9505

Follow them on Facebook and on Instagram @hugsinc

 

Peace

 

 

Parenting More Authentically

Small Shifts in parenting can awaken little souls...-Meghan S Phillips

 

This week I got a chance to sit down with Meghan Phillips. Meghan is a social worker by day and parenting blogger/budding author in her spare time of being a single parent to two great kids.

Her book is a work in progress called What I Wish for you: Helping our kids discover their authentic selves. We have a conversation about teaching kids empathy, compassion, gratitude, among other things. Teaching our kids how amazing it feels to be kind to others and help people when you can.

As well as how to be more a more conscious parent by staying present and that sometimes you aren't always right and it's ok to teach your kids that when you are wrong you say sorry, just like you expect them to.

We are living in a world where we are more divided than ever and it's time to stop pointing fingers at each other and accept accountability, responsibility and ownership of the fact that we created this world together and together is the only way we are going to right this ship. Be a good example to the next generation because at this point all they are learning from us is what not to do.

I loved our conversation and look forward to more as well as Meghan's book coming out in the future! Check Meghan out on instagram at meghansphillips or her website meghansphillips.com

Beth Part Deux

The last time I sat down with Beth she had not yet started Columbia Journalism Grad school. This time the work has begun and she sits down with me to chat about balancing a work/school/life schedule, living in NYC in today's world and being aware of your surroundings.

I love getting a chance to record these podcasts with my family and hope to do more in the future. Still have to nail young Mark down. Come on dude, I promise not to make you cry ala Barbara Walters.

I talk about getting my kids Cint Emerson's book, 100 Deadly Skills, great book that you can get on Amazon link below. Ultimately even if you are not going to use these skills, (ya never know), it makes you become more aware of your surroundings. Having your face in your phone is not how you walk around New York City or anywhere else for that matter.

https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B01CO3459C&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_VCykzbTG4D7FV

http://a.co/ei6oOOG

It's Memorial Day Weekend, we live in the land of the free because of the brave. Thank you and thankful for all those service men and women who sacrifice everything so we may continue to live in the greatest country in the world. (Yes, it still is, it always was.)

Be you, have fun, get it done.

Peace

 

Innocence Project & More...

The time is always right, to do what is right. MLK

 

So last week we were invited to the 25th anniversary celebration of the Innocence project. If you don’t know about the Innocence Project, I urge you to check them out at innocenceproject.org and from there you can find the chapter in your state. If you’re not familiar on the “About Us”, on their website it simply states The Innocence Project, founded in 1992 by Peter Neufeld and Barry Scheck at Cardozo School of Law, exonerates the wrongly convicted through DNA testing and reforms the criminal justice system to prevent future injustice.

But truly what they do for these people and the hope they bring to their families is so much more than what these few sentences can say.

 

The stories from the exonerees are not to be believed. The night itself was so emotional, moving and inspiring. Meryl Streep was the keynote and Joan Baez sang and recalled stories of her time with Dr. Martin Luther King protesting for equal rights in the 60’s. I had just watched her be inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame on TV so it was incredible to hear her and see her in the flesh a few days later. I felt like I knew her, Hey Joan what’s up? Ha-ha we weren’t that close to her but it was cool to see her. Just to be in the presence of someone who was so close to such an important part of history and how she has dedicated her entire life to be a voice for voiceless is amazing.

A few months back my daughter Mary Jane and I drove across country together and along the way we listened to a lot of podcasts. One of them was The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Great podcast, inspiring dude, he was recently on Ellen so you may have caught him on there. One of his guests was this guy Jason Flom, who is a music producer who discovered major talent like Katy Perry amongst others. What I didn’t know is that Jason is on the board of the innocence project and has a whole entire podcast dedicated to telling the stories of the men and women that the project helps. So after listening to him on Lewis Howes, (who by the way was there at the event and I was bummed because I would have loved to have met him but I didn’t know until afterwards when he posted a picture on the instagram.) So we started listening to Jason’s podcast Wrongful Conviction, and we quickly became obsessed and binge listened to every single one and I can’t recommend his podcast enough.

He has high profile cases like  Amanda Knox on there and Marty Tankleff, if you’re from NY you remember him. He was convicted of killing his parents the night before his senior year of high school was to start right here on Long Island. He served 17 years for a crime he didn’t commit. As well as fascinating cases you never heard of before like the case of Sunny Jacobs, among others. If you’re going to listen to any, definitely check out episode 4 the wrongful conviction of Sunny Jacobs. It really is not to be believed what this woman lived through or what any of the exonerees had to endure before Innocence Project took on their cases.

 

All of the stories are incredible I only name a few more well known ones so you can get a mind set for what its all about but each and every story is frightening, sad, and then eventually inspiring. What the human spirit can endure and over come is remarkable. Against all odds these people never gave up hope and faith that the truth would prevail. Some with little to no education taught themselves the law and helped themselves get out of prison. One man who spoke at the event never made it past 8th grade but was like ok no one is helping me get out of here so I’m going to help myself. And figured out how to write papers he could present to the court.

There are many reasons why people are wrongly accused and convicted. Wrong place wrong time, incompetent attorney, corrupt DA or judges and an occasional corrupt detective. I would like to think that most, the majority of police officers, lawyers and judges want to help you and get to the bottom of what really happened so the right person who did the heinous crime is off the streets and put behind bars.

Unfortunately, like a lot of our “systems” the judicial system needs work like everything else. Some of the old practices are completely out of touch in this day and age.  And sometimes it’s not the truth they are going for but a conviction. I know outstanding police officers that would never knowingly falsify evidence to convict an innocent person, but just like every other line of work there are great ones and some bad ones too.

And if you think that being in the wrong place at the wrong time could never happen to you or someone you love, well all I have to say about that is I pray you are right because one of the worst things in the world I could think of happening is having someone you love, spouse, child whomever be incarcerated for something they didn’t do. It actually used to be a fear of mine growing up. Being wrongly accused, who knows why, kind of an odd fear for a kid to have. Maybe previous life. But then I became a mom and I knew, oh, ok, I can handle anything that happens to me but dear god don’t let it happen to them. So for all of the mother’s of these people I say a special prayer for them to stay strong. Who knows why we get the life that we get, but there but for the grace of god go all of us.

Our system(s) political, education, judicial clearly are not working and all need an overhaul. Just because something has always been a certain way doesn’t mean it has to or should stay that way.

 

Look at the mayor of New Orleans, Mitch Landrieu who took down the statue of Robert E Lee. I’m sure some people are like well, that’s part of history etc. Yeah but should we really have the confederate flag flying or statues of people who were for perpetuating slavery? I don’t think so.

Prisons are a business and they employ a lot of people. It’s like a self-contained small city and you know how much money it takes to run the city and there are power trips and people who benefit from keeping prisons full. I am so thankful there are people like the men and women who work so hard for what is right like the people who work for Innocence Project.

Side note, I sent my husband Mark an episode of Wrongly Accused and he was like, oh yeah, I know him. What do you mean you know him? He’s like “I played golf with him in a thing a few times. I told you all about the round last summer.”

 Oh sorry, maybe if you had said I played against Jason Flom from the Innocence Project/music mogul I would have recalled. Got caught not listening again to a riveting shot by shot account of a golf tournament. Oops, ha-ha sorry honey, I support you and I’ll try to listen next time. (note to self, practice sleeping with eyes open…)

So like I said, look them up, get involved if you can and I assure you after listening to Wrongful Conviction you will be moved by their stories. As Dr. King said, the time is always right to do what is right.

Still reading The Rythm of Life. If you listened to the podcast that I did with Evelyn O’Doherty we talked about this book by Matthew Kelly. We hope to meet in June to do another podcast about Part 1. There are so many nuggets of wisdom in this book and I hope you check it out. I would love to make that episode a little more interactive so if you want to read with us, Part 1 is only like 40 pages long. But its just so rich with knowledge and thought provoking great info that we thought we would do a 7 part series for the 7 parts in the book so we really can soak it all in.  So Rhythm of Life, Matthew Kelly, check it out.

 

I am also reading a book by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant called Option B. Sheryl’s husband Dave Goldberg tragically dies while they were on vacation in the hotel gym. And obviously her life is forever altered but as the cover of the book says, (and yes, I judged it), Option B Facing adversity, building resilience, and finding joy.

A great quote from Sheryl when she was having to face an obstacle alone without her husband and her friend gave her the scenario and she was like I don’t want to do any of that. I want Dave to be here. And her friend says to her “Option A is not available so let’s kick the shit out of Option B”

Which is a quote I love and just like Innocence Project people, it’s like ok, I can feel sorry for myself and wallow about something I have no power over changing or I can accept my new reality and kick the shit out of it. What do the Marines say? Improvise, adapt and over come.

Shit happens, what are you going to do about it? Make yourself and your family proud, or ask god why me?

The last podcast I want to talk about is Jocko Willink’s podcast, Jocko Podcast. I heard him on Joe Rogan the other day and it was great, made me go back and listen to many of his 75+ podcasts that he was compelled, thankfully to do after being on Tim Ferris podcast, another great one and Tim and Joe both said to him, dude, you need your own podcast. It’s not for everyone, its about war and battle and honor and character and what it takes to be a warrior. He’s an intense guy but was born to be a warrior. A man who was born to be in the military. He was a Navy Seal for 20 years and then wrote a book with Leif Babin, called Extreme Ownership as well as a kid’s novel called The Way of the Warrior Kid.

My dad would have been all over this podcast if he were alive to listen to podcast’s. Actually he would have been a great person to do a podcast as he was an unbelievable story teller and his favorite stories were history and battles and talking about strength of character and great people in history. His heroes were all warriors and cowboys.

But this podcast that talks about what it means to be a Navy Seal, the ultimate warriors. He has other Navy Seals on and they talk about specific battles and what it’s like to be in the military and be a leader. What does it take to have other people follow you into hell and be honored to be there.  Extreme Ownership is all about accountability and responsibility and understanding who you are what your strengths are. A no holds barred account of what its like to be in war and why. As Memorial Day Weekend approaches I urge you to listen not to the media and not to the politicians but to first hand accounts from great men and women who are sacrificing everything and their families are sacrificing everything to complete their mission. And they often talk about how thankful and appreciative the people, the mothers, the fathers the children who don’t want to live under al quida or isis. They want help, they need help. We can sit back in LaLa Land and be critical and pass judgment but to be there first hand, we have no idea what life is like in these places. No matter where you stand in the political spectrum you have to admit, we have no idea what it would be like to have battles fought in our backyard. If you want to hear a very real and very realistic account on what it means and what it takes to be a warrior listen to this podcast. It’s not always easy to listen to, but it’s real and if you want to understand what these men and women go through I urge you to listen. As much as we all wish there were no reason for war the bottom line is, we are inherently savages and there are people out there who want to harm us. Is it right? No, but it is what it is. And these are the people you want keeping us all safe.

Its also John Wayne’s birthday today, one of my father’s tip top heroes. I think that it is a direct result growing up an only child with a father who treated me the way he was going to treat me regardless of gender. He was a history buff with a fascination on wars, battles fought, great leaders, war movies, westerns, which he called cowboy pictures. That I love all of this stuff as well. So I will leave you with a John Wayne quote that my dad would always end his emails or correspondence with, Courage is being afraid but saddling up anyway. To which I would usually reply, ok, I was just emailing you to see if you wanted to come over for dinner Tuesday but, I’ll try to be brave till then dad. Hahah good stuff.

 

Thanks for listening

Work hard, have fun, be nice.

Peace

 

 

CoLoKi, Compassion, Love, Kindness

Every human being has an equal, inherent worth and right to dignity. –Mission Statement for Freeport Trailer

CoLoKi Compassion, Love and Kindness at the Freeport trailer.

I sat down with my friend Liz O’Shaughnessy, who is the executive director of the Freeport trailer. The trailer is a safe heaven for day laborers that provides a hot meal, resources, esl classes as well as compassion and empathy for the men, women, and entire families that live in the area and utilize the trailer.

The trailer is the only municipally sanctioned facility on Long Island. Liz got involved over 10 years ago when she stopped by to make a clothing donation and asked Father Tom, who was running things at the time for Catholic Charities, a simple question, how can I help? What can I do? His answer was, treat these people with dignity.

Liz did that and a whole lot more. A labor of love and compassion she has worked for over 10 years to provide this resource for the nameless, faceless day workers that most people drive past without a thought.

These men are trying to make a better life for themselves and their families just like everyone else.

As Liz says, not everyone is an angel, of course. Issues arise when you have a community of mostly uneducated people who live and grow up in poverty with a language barrier who have to work twice as hard to just make ends meet. They never turn anyone away but if a problem arises, as Liz says, I’m not always nice. But just like any good parent we can’t always be Mrs. nice guy.

On the whole this has been a gift in her life that she is able to profoundly help people every day. What an inspiration and example for everyone. If we all could be a little kinder, a little more compassionate. Look people in the eye, say good morning, hello, thank you. As the mission statement says, Every human being has an equal, inherent worth and right to dignity.

If you want to help keep the trailer going or come and visit the trailer please contact:

Freeporttrailer.com or colokiinc.com

Email; coloki@gmail.com

516-442-0955

Like them on Facebook! 

Follow your Heart with Lisa Fox

No matter what it is, don't be afraid to follow your heart.

I recently sat down with my friend, Lisa Fox. Lisa had an online television show for two years that she put on right from her kitchen. She would find interesting people with a story to tell and have them come to her studio she and her husband created in their home.

Lisa got the idea after not getting the part in Oprah's search for the next television host. She still really wanted to do it and thought, I still have this inside of me and it's an itch that still needs to be scratched. So her online show was made! For two years she delivered a show every Thursday night. Was it scary? Yup! But she did it anyway.

It's ok to be scared, follow the fear because its usually hiding exactly what it is that is going to bring you joy and happiness.

Make yourself proud, go for it!

Be nice, have fun, get it done!

Peace.

 

Simply Cait

Simply Cait

 Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it….#girlboss

 

I sat down with Caitlin Kenny and her mama, my friend Colleen. They are an inspiring mother/daughter entrepreneur duo who have created a jewelry line and jacket line respectively.

Caitlin was emboldened to start her own jewelry business after working in a local hamptons store that had beautiful jewelry that Caitlyn became self admittedly obsessed with (take note! when you are searching for your passion hint; it's probably that thing you become obsessed with!!), and a year ago, with the support of her awesome close knit fam, Simply Cait was born!

Caitlyn has a beautiful eye for her craft and has come up with amazing creations, (BONUS! her price points are in check and you can find something beautiful that won’t break the bank! Holla!)

Along the way on this adventure, her mom, Colleen got inspired to create a line of jackets called Collection, (clever take on her name that Caitlin came up with! Adorbs) Denim jackets, Camo utility jackets, Bombers and for cooler months faux fur bombers. All with different vibrant and fun patches on the back depending on your style and personality. (I got the blue star bomber and I LOVE it!!)

Together they are having a ton of fun learning the ins and outs of business, being creative and supporting each other while they put themselves out there to try something new.

We chat about being vulnerable to social media negativity and how at the end of the day you realize how lucky you are to have the support and love of your family. It’s not easy at any age to “put yourself out there” but it’s worth it when you are following your dreams. As Brene Brown says, vulnerability is the birthplace of everything we are hungry for. 

Don’t worry about what other people think, if you have a dream, just go for it. If it doesn’t work than you were brave for trying and tomorrow you can try something else until you find what it is that sets your soul on fire.

This may be Caitlin and Colleen’s jam but it is supported and could not be done without the whole Kenny team, and they both are thankful that.

Truly goes to show that if you have every faith in your kids that they can do anything, then they will have every faith in themselves and will actually go for it and get it done.

Bravo ladies!

Check out their website shopsimplycait.com

Or find them on Instagram at simplyy_cait

Be you, have fun, get it done.

Peace!

photo cred: Instagram soul.makes

 

 

Montauk Salt Cave

A few deep breaths can change your whole day!

Montauk Salt Cave

Born from wanting to find relief for their young son's severe allergies, Peter and Shannon Coppola had tried it all and when someone suggested a session in a salt room they were beyond thrilled to find their son actually found relief and fell asleep peacefully.  The anti inflammatory properties of the salt helps breathing, autoimmune, skin conditions as well as a myriad of other ailments. (Plus its just soo relaxing!)

They thought maybe they would look into building one in their home so he could sit in it all the time but then said, why not build something so more people could find relief. (love!)

So the Montauk Salt Cave was created!

They hold yoga and reiki and meditation sessions. It’s a cool and dimly lit beautiful room and as Shannon says, the perfect spot for adult nap time. Anti-gravity chairs and fleece blankets are the icing on the cake.

The Coppola’s are paying it forward for sure. Check them out in Montauk, Huntington and coming soon to NYC!

 

Montauksaltcave.com

and

Montauk Salt Cave on Instagram!

 

Mahalo Evelyn O'Doherty

When we step into our hearts desire, doors open.

                                                                                  –Evelyn O’Doherty

You know when you come away from a conversation or a meeting with someone and it’s such a great connection that you feel lifted? I left my time with Stand Up Paddle racer, Evelyn O’Doherty with a bounce in my step. Evelyn lives Mahalo, in gratitude, and it shows. I say all the time when you are around people who are literally living their dream and are completely engaged and passionate about their lives its inspiring and it raises the vibration of everything and everyone around them. Evelyn’s wholehearted approach to life leaves you wanting more of that for yourself. (and she wants that for you too!)  

Although Evelyn and I have been connected on social media for quite some time this was the first time we got to sit down mano y mano and have a conversation about her passion, stand up paddle, (among others because she is passionate about life, but that is her main jam) And when we were done I wanted to ask her, ala Stepbrother’s, “Did we just become best friends?”  She's pretty boss...

Her hub taught her how to surf at age 36 and that was it. Passion ignited… Always connected to the ocean, once she started surfing it became the catalyst that changed everything.

Not long after, Evelyn quit her beloved teaching job to relocate to Montauk to be closer to the sea. Things moved in a magical way after that and she started getting opportunities that allowed her to pursue her passion full time.

As she says, when we step into our hearts desire, doors open.

I have said on the podcast before that I believe we are all pieces of a puzzle and collectively we create a big picture. But we only fit if we are who we are to meant to be, our true self. So who are you supposed to be? What ignites your spirit? What are you doing when you lose track of time and the world falls away? That is your spirit calling. Do more of that! The world is waiting for you to be awesome.

Be you, have fun, get it done.

Peace

Check Evelyn out on her website and on Instagram!

@nysurfgirl

evelyndoherty.com

Proud Pour

Berlin Kelly created Proud Pour, a wine company with a conscience. As Berlin explains, she wanted to create the Tom's Shoes of the alcohol industry, and she is succeeding!

The first vintage Berlin produced is, The Oyster, a delicious sustainably grown, vegan sauvignon blanc that comes in a bottle with a beautiful blue and white label with a clean design and BONUS!, an oyster shell tied with twine around the bottle neck. For each bottle purchased 100 wild oysters are restored to local waters. (Did you listen to Moriches Bay Project episode yet? Oysters are hard working bivalves!)

Next up is an Oregon Pinot Noir that when you buy a bottle, 875 wildflowers are planted on farms to provide 90 sq feet of bee habitat! Did you know the bees are sick? Podcast coming soon with my friend who is a bee keeper to hear more about how important this really is! I tried the pinot as well and its fab!

In addition to this Berlin, goes on to say they are creating a craft beer to benefit sea turtles as well as a cider for soil health!

I loved chatting with her. It's inspiring when you are around a person who walks the walk. Check out proudpour.com for more info and ask your local wine store to stock up!

Cheers to change!

 

Moriches Bay Project

The sea, the great unifier, is man’s only hope. Now as never before, the old phrase has a literal meaning; we are all in the same boat. –Jacques Cousteau

 

 

Today on You Be You & I’ll Be Me I have Laura Fabrizio who is one of the founders of the not for profit organization the Moriches Bay Project.

Laura is passionate and dedicated to not just cleaning the bay but passing down and paying forward knowledge about how people in the area can get involved and be part of the solution. They do a lot of school programs and do a lot to get children involved so they grow up understanding the importance of taking care of the bay.

I have so much admiration for people who don’t just complain about a problem but get heads together to try and help.

If you live locally to Moriches Bay, I urge you to get involved. This is our backyard and its sick and needs our help.

In the podcast Laura tells the kids that get involved that when they are planting the oyster beds, an oyster has a heart and we need to take care of them. What a great way to make a child know right away that this is a living thing and it needs taking care of. (It made me think twice when she said it!)

 

Go to morichesbayproject.org and find out about ways you can get involved be it hands on or attend the party in June. If you don’t live on the East End of Long Island Laura said email or call them and they will hook you up with a project local to you.

 

Photo Credit: Instagram Cliffcaptures

More Common Sense, Less Common Core.

I had the pleasure of sitting down with my old friend, Carolyn Terry to chat about the state of education today. We hold no high ranking position and probably nothing will change as a result of our conversation. (Although you never know!)

What we wanted to accomplish was to just start a conversation. Why is school such a struggle for some and so easy for others? Why do we value one measure of success in school and another in life? I have heard many successful celebs say they hated school and didn't do well because they were more creative and less of a left brain thinker. Yet our culture reveres and admires them in life. It is admirable to work hard and achieve your goals and dreams. But shouldn't those goals and dreams be fostered in school and not considered electives and your only a smart kid if you can be successful at math and science?

I never felt successful in school unless it was art class or creative writing. Then I was happy, history too as long as we were discussing events not regurgitating dates of battles and treaties being signed. (Magna wha?) School was a source of anxiety, fear of failure and general unhappiness for me. They say you parent the way you want to be parented so I was diligent about providing tutors, extra help, medication and anything and everything else I thought would help my own children be happy, confident and more successful students. And they were and are! However I really wished we had a system in place that instead of drugging someone to focus we concentrated on what naturally grabs their attention and steered them in that direction.

We all have a chance at success, every single one of us. The system that is currently in place does not support bringing out the best in everyone. We have a skewed image of what is considered successful in school. We tell our kids to be the shepard not the sheep and never be afraid to stand out and not be part of the crowd and in turn say, but you need to learn only these things, in only this way or your dumb. Hmmm. Does not compute. You are worthy of success, find out what your passion is and follow it. I believe in you.

The World According to Mark

Listen in while I chat with my husband Mark about energy, language, being pc, golf, and being a parent. I have the best conversations with Mark and I was psyched to have him come on and talk about life.

He is not for everyone but he is for me. an acquired taste if you will. (I will) Lots more content coming from him in the future. Love that he just said you have to have a whole bag of pay no mind. He's a great dad and a pretty good husband. ;) I was thrilled that he agreed to come on and I hope to have more of him in the future. Life is not easy but always interesting and real, I am thankful to have a partner in crime to rely on through thick and thin.

Cryo why are you so cold?

I sat down with Alexa of Cryology in Babylon on Long Island. Along with her brother Taylor, (and her Dad is a personal trainer there as well, a family affair, I love it), they own this establishment that offers full body cryotherapy, local cryo, cryo facial, infrared suana, normatec leg massage, (I know, me neither so you have to listen!), salt therapy and personal training.

If you have never investigated cryotherapy before it is a 3 minute session in this chamber that is cooled by nitrogen and the temp goes down to 250 degrees below zero! Alexa explains in the podcast that its tricking the body that it's under duress, (some trick, I am under duress!) and your sympathetic nervous system, or your fight or flight response gets triggered. The body goes into action and the blood leaves your appendages and moves to your organs to protect them. After 3 minutes, (Alexa was there the entire time so your not going to Han Solo and freeze yourself), you step out and you can literally feel the blood rushing back to your appendages. I felt an adrenal rush and something a long the lines of euphoric for a little while even! Afterwards, I continued to feel great and even woke up the next day and bounced out of bed ready to go.

If you're on Long Island, check out Cryology in Babylon. And listen to the podcast to hear Alexa and I talk more extensively about cryotherapy as well as all the other modalities they offer as well. By the way, we recorded our podcast in the Salt Room, which has amazing healing properties as well.

http://www.cryologyny.com/

The Earth Day Blog

This past weekend was Earth Day! Here out on the East end of Long Island where I live we are an environmentally minded group for the most part. We get so many of our resources from the land and the sea between the fisherman, the farmers and the wineries out in these parts it is important to know what your ingesting as well as getting involved in your community to make it the best place possible to live!

I spent my week talking to and interacting with people who live a life of service to others in one way or another. One of the speakers at a festival I went to that I talk about on the podcast said, we are a planet of 7.5 billion souls and we are all connected. Now is the time when we are moving out of the Picean Age where we have been for the last few decades where its a win or lose mentality. Me first, you last. Now we are moving into, like the song says, the age of aquarious, which is a more nurturing, connecting and helping each other age. (The opposite of what it feels like right now!) But we need more light workers and positive people to do the work and spread the message that we aren't going to stand for the old ways anymore. Not being good to ourselves or our planet is taking it's toll and it is time for a shift.

Sounds good to me.

Peace

Do you...

This week I got to sit down with two of my daughters, Kelly and Beth. The bookends, the oldest and the youngest. And while their drive and determination are similar they are polar opposites in other aspects of life. Beth is a self described cardigan and pearls wearing over achieving first born and Kelly is concert black tee-s and tattoos no F's left to give baby of the family. (For now, I am allowing room for tastes to change as they age, at least I hope they never stop changing and evolving!)

Beth finds happiness in being dedicated to her work and the causes her huge heart gives time and attention to. Already a full schedule she talks about how she is going to juggle the demands of getting her masters at Columbia this spring and how all these pieces to the puzzle fit together to make her run on all six cylinders.

And Kelly talks about how she took the road less traveled, had a gap semester and a cross country road trip with her boyfriend of four years before heading to SCAD this past spring. Art school has turned out to be her happy place where she can find fellow beat to their own drum kind of peeps.

Point is, they are being true to themselves and figuring out who they really are and what they are doing when they are fired up and excited about life. They are different but the love each other and allow each other to be who they are without judgment, (haha just kidding, they totally judge, but they still love each other, let's be real.) I could not be happier for them and am thrilled that they are working hard, having fun, and getting it done.

 

#feelbetter

 

I’ve always thought that people need to feel good about themselves and I see my role as offering support to them, to provide some light along the way. –Leo Buscaglia

This week on the podcast I talk about being a parent, finding your joy, and what you can do today to feel better. (Are you sensing a pattern?)  I end with these 7 things you can start doing today to be happier, feel better and all around easy but potentially game changing practices.

 

 

Consistency. Get with the program and stick with it. Working out doesn’t work if you only do it sometimes. The same goes for everything else in your life. This is the cornerstone of the steps because without this one none of the others will work. Be consistent with your physical body, your spiritual practice, your eating habits and your life will change for the better. (You know, if you’re consistently choosing good things!) Be consistent, be true to your word. Consistency in all aspects of life will help you to be respected and trusted by people you love. You will begin to feel better when you live with consistency. Swear.

 

Stay Present. If consistency is the cornerstone than staying present is, well, whatever is the next most important piece of building something. Because this one is BIG. My friend Tori, (Holla!), said to me once “Look down, are their spiders crawling up your legs? Then you’re alright.” Get your head out of the past. I know, I know, but its true. Its over and you can’t change it. Don’t worry about the future. Of course make plans but take the worry part out. Once you accept that life is going to keep going no matter how much you worry than maybe you won’t worry so much. Its true what they say worry doesn’t change tomorrow but it robs of your joy today.

 

 

Help Someone Else. I can gaur-on-damn-tee, that if you reach out to someone who needs help you will instantly feel better. There is nothing in this world that feels better than being the cause or the catalyst to someonelse’s joy. I think that is why its so hard to watch kids grow up, you become addicted to that feeling of being the person gets to help someone all the time. So go find somebody that needs help, unfortunately they are not in short supply.

 

 

Practice Gratitude. Like, all the time. I was reminded of this when I forgot my ez pass while driving my daughter back to school last week. I was so annoyed with the fact that I had to wait in the cash lane and I wouldn’t shut up about it. When my daughter said, “Oh well, at least we aren’t that guy”, as we passed a man with a flat tire on the ramp going onto the bridge. Thank you, thank you, and thank you. And please send an angel down to help that poor guy while he changes his flat. Thank you, all the time about the smallest of things. (I love my hairbrush, it works just right in my crazy hair!) To the tallest of things, thank you for this incredible healthy family. Keep practicing, even when you forget, you can stop and go back to being grateful anytime.

 

Change your default setting. Are you stuck on, Eeyore mode? It probably won’t work out? Change it. Change your default setting to automatically say, when it works out. It’s going to work out. I can’t wait for this to work out! I am so grateful that this is going to work out. (You get the picture?)

 

 

Change your Mind! Don’t forget to remember to change your mind. Be flexible in life. Take things as they come and when the bad stuff starts creeping in just stop and change your mind. Don’t “go there.” (Oh no she d’int!) Stop it! Don’t think bad thoughts. The universe is listening so when you think things like, “I can’t lose this job. I had better not lose this job. I hope I don’t lose this job!” And you lose the job and you say, “I knew it!” Well, you made that happen. All the universe heard was lose job, lose job, lose job. So keep the thoughts positive and watch what you think!! Recently I was driving around pot holed filled streets and all I kept thinking was I had better not get a flat. I have never had a flat tire in my entire life and after and hour of thinking about it, guess what? I got one! All I could do was laugh because I did that. Oh well, watch what I’m thinking, I know better.

 

The last key to feeling better…

 

Laugh. It is a universal language that everyone speaks. We are all connected by love, music and by laughter. Laughter transcends age, culture and language. Get with people who make you laugh. Ditch the energy zappers that bring you down. Don’t be addicted to misery. Be addicted to happiness. Do things that give you a lift. Listen to great music, watch a comedy, read something funny. Milton Berle once said, “Laughter is an instant vacation.” Its true, you get with a good friend who can make you laugh, your troubles go out the door.

 

It isn’t reinventing the wheel. It is actually all very simple. The key is being consistent with all of it.

Peace

My Spirit Loves...

Sunday, April 1, 2012

My Spirit Loves

 

"With love, with patience and with faith, she'll make her way."-Natalie Merchant, Wonder.

 

 

I was driving in the car yesterday listening to Coffee House on my XM radio when Natalie Merchant’s song Wonder came on. On the Coffee House station they play a lot of acoustic versions to familiar songs so I felt as if I were hearing this song for the first time.

 

“Laughed as my body she lifted.

Know this child will be gifted.

With love and patience and with faith

She’ll make her way.”

 

I was just driving down the street minding my own business listening to the radio and the lyrics of this song moved me to tears thinking about my kids.

 

As I drove thinking of them with heartfelt emotion my phone buzzed. Two kids texting me at once, (Why couldn’t I have had this heartfelt emotion thinking about the mega jackpot??)

 

How amazing is that? My spirit was speaking to theirs and they picked up on it and contacted me. Kind of like how life was before cell phones. When we would be at a concert knowing another group of friend's were also there. No doubt in your mind you would see them and of course you always would.

 

What does your spirit love? I mean really love? What makes your eyes twinkle when you talk about it or think about it? I remember back when I came home with my kindergarten school picture, my Dad said, “I love this picture because you are smiling with your eyes.” I thought for years as a kid that meant I was squinting or something. Smile with your eyes? Whatever dad. But now I know when I am truly happy and laughing that twinkle is my spirit talking. I am looking at crows feet with a new found love. These lines mean I have felt and heard my spirit A LOT!

 

What does my spirit love? My spirit loves my children and my husband and my family and my little dog. My spirit loves to laugh with friends and to nurture people, to share a meal, to be in aesthetically pleasing environments. My spirit loves a great playlist and the feeling you get after a hard workout. My spirit loves to dance. My spirit loves adventure, travel and change. My spirit loves to write. My spirit loves to talk to open minded people. My spirit loves the ocean and good food and coffee and wine and books and clean sheets from the dryer.

 

If you are in any kind of transition period or if you are figuring out what it is that you truly would love to do with your life. (Either the second part or the first.) Go for a walk, or a run and breathe deeply and evenly and don’t think about anything but the sound of your own breath moving in and out. After awhile ask the question. What does my spirit love? The very first thing that comes to mind is what is true. After that first one you might have to say it out loud to see if it feels and sounds true to your own ears. (If you really want to know say it to the mirror. Can you look yourself in the eye and say what your spirit loves? Then it’s the truth.)

 

Then when you get home write it all down. My spirit loves…..

Look back at what my own spirit loves. Taking all of those loves you basically have the description of what I do and who I am. It took me almost 40 years because I wasn’t listening for a long time but I am completely happy and accepting of who and where I am in life. I have a great family, I teach, I write, I laugh, I change things up, I listen to my spirit and I give my spirit what it loves and my spirit rewards me. I think about my daughters with heartfelt emotion and they call me.

We all have this ability within us it is just a matter of tapping into it and letting it work for you.

 

It doesn’t work if you look in the mirror and say, “My spirit loves money.” But what you can say is, “My spirit loves being good at what I do.”  Think about a wedding, everyone celebrating love by laughing and singing and dancing. Sending that couple out in the world with collective heartfelt emotion. Then they have that “honeymoon period.” Not because they go to Hawaii but because they are still living on high from all of that energy being sent their way.

 

Update: April 2, 2017. This popped up as a reminder and I couldn't believe it when I read it! Everything I wrote about my spirit in 2012 is true today and culminated in creating this space to share with like minded people. Currently, I am on a cross country road trip with one of my daughters. Listening to my spirit. Traveling, laughing, making memories we will share forever. My spirit loves…my spirit loves…

Kate Flynn is Swell

After a few technical difficulties, I got to sit down with my friend Kate Flynn. I met Kate at the Barre3 here in Santa Barbara, where she is an instructor. (Check out her class if you are in town, it's an ass kicker, but in a good way!) Always a super friendly and nice person when we would cross paths, I liked her right away. What I didn't know when I met her that she and her husband were entrepreneurs and co-owners of a healthy snack food line called Swell Foods. (Follow on Instagram! They have great recipes and tips!) I also didn't know that she was a Harvard Business School grad who traded in her power suit for athletic wear and an apron. (Kate had never mentioned Harvard, I thought it was a requirement for HBS grads to tell you they were HBS grads within 15 minutes of meeting them?? JUST KIDDING)

Kate and I talked about Barre3, her company Swell and how to figure out how to find your passion. I love, love, love talking to people that are passionate about what they do. Listening to inspired people is in itself, inspiring. Passion has a vibrant energy attached to it, and energy, good or bad, is contagious. So you are responsible for the energy you bring so always bring your best and try to steer clear of the people who bring your vibration down. Life is short and I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be fun.

 

76 and Sunny

Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make everyday. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.

-Brene Brown

 

How do we begin to know exactly what it is we want out of life if we are to busy to even truly get to know ourselves?

Because we are nice, good people who love our families and our friends and we want them to love us in return, we tend to put our unexplored needs and desires on the back burner.

One little exercise I like to do with people to begin to understand who we are a little better, is to sit down and do a few minutes of deep belly breathing. So get comfortable and take a few minutes to breathe in through your nose, nice and deep. Feel your belly rising or expanding on the inhale and falling or contracting on the exhale. This is a deep belly breath. A great tool that we have with us all the time and one we can use when we feel anxiety, stress, doubt or worry start to creep in, we always have our deep belly breath to turn to. 

After you have been breathing for a few minutes, the next step is to envision in your mind's eye your favorite weather. For me that is 76 and sunny, with a nice breeze. I am sitting at the beach looking at the ocean and I am loving life. For you maybe it's a summer rain storm, a cozy fire with a snowstorm outside, or a blue bird ski day. Whatever it is, set that up in your mind and see yourself in it. What does it look like? Feel like? Sound like?

This visualization accompanied by the breath work is a fantastic way, I have found to get people to relax to that peaceful, balanced place. In this state is who we truly are, or at least meant to be. Hard to come at life from this base line since life itself is what usually gets in the way of peace and relaxation! But if you can consistently practice this, (the key to success in everything!), you will be able to access that feeling of calm.

Thanks for checking in! Work hard, have fun and get it done! Peace.